Breathe Me
by jldesb
Summary: Literati. One Shot. What if Rory ran into Jess later on?I was listening to Breathe Me by Sia and thought the song fit. I suck at summaries.


A/N: this is my first fanfic, so be gentle. I was listening to this song and thought about Rory/Jess. May be be just a oneshot, I dont know for sure. Everything in the show happened..

Disclaimer: I own nothing, honestly. Song is my Sia, called "Breathe Me".. As everyone else I would love to own Milo, but eh, won't happen. BTW, if you don't know about the DSC, check it out, seriously.. DSC for life.

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Rory studied herself in the mirror at her hotel room. This wasn't her, or at least what she was while she was in high school. Oh how she would love to be the same person she was then. Her eyes that were blue are now a dull-gray.. her hair a mess, and she had lost at least 15lbs. This just wasn't her.

She sighed as walked to the bedroom and sat on the bed. God what she would do to be like she was.. like she was with ..him. Frustrated with herself, she grabbed her ipod off the table beside her bed, positioned pillows around her, laid back and closed her eyes.

**Help, I have done it again  
I have been here many times before  
Hurt myself again today  
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame**

What did she do? How could she have messed up so bad? She was Rory Gilmore, she was supposed to have the best, be the best.. Where is she now? Alone, wishing she had some boy that treated her badly. He wasn't some boy though, he was the boy.

**Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small  
I'm needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me  
**

_"I'm sorry I came here..." Rory said cautiously..  
"I'm not. It's what it is. you... me," he paused, thinking of something else to say. "Where'd you park?"  
"Oh, I'm right outside..." This is it, she thought to herself..  
"Hey, if.. uh, if it makes you feel better you can always tell him that we did something." If she just knew how much he still loved her.. she wouldn't break his heart like she just did.  
"Thanks Jess.." What the hell did she just do_

How could she have messed up that bad? What is she thinking, he messed up to.. but hers was final. He always came back. She knew he loved her.. maybe he still does. Realizing sleep was not coming to her she got up and dressed herself in some yoga pants and a hoodie and decided to go for a walk. Philadelphia wasn't so unfamiliar to her, surely she'd find her way around.

**Ouch I have lost myself again  
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,  
Yeah I think that I might break  
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe**

She walked out of her hotel room to find that it was a little chilly outside even with her hoodie on, but she continued..maybe the coldness would knock some sense into her, maybe not. She wasn't thinking clearly anyway, she didn't care anymore. She spotted a little coffee shop across the road and immediately walked over to it, almost being hit by a car. She really needed to learn how to look before walking across a road. Another _flashback_ came into her mind.. but she wouldn't embrace it. She couldn't.. not now, not here. Walking into the shop, she stopped as the door closed behind her.

There he was. Of all the coffee shops in Philly, how could he be at this one right now? She spun around hoping he wouldn't see her and grabbed for the door.

"Ror..?" His voice made her tremble.

**Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small  
I'm needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me  
Breathe Me **

She stopped her in tracks.. what is she supposed to do? Turn around and talk to him like she didn't want him back anymore? No, she couldn't lie like that anymore. And she definitely couldn't face him right now.. She opened the door and hurried outside.

She found herself about a 5 blocks away, wondering where she was. Why did she run? She leaned up against a wall, taking a breath or two when she heard him again.

"Ror.. why are you running from me?" He said out of breath.. Apparently he's been following her the whole time.  
"Where am I? and how do I get back to the Honeytree?" Maybe he'd drop the subject..  
Now a little agitated, he grabbed both her arms and held her in front of him. "I'll ask again, why are you running from me?!"

She looked at him with her blue, now gray eyes, she knew he knew something was wrong. She just couldn't say it.. not here..

"Can you take me back to my hotel room? We can talk there.." Maybe she could think of something to say other than the obvious...

**Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small  
I'm needy  
Warm me up  
**

She bit her lowly lip softly as she closed the door behind them. What is there to say? Seriously.. There's so much she wants to say but doesn't know if he wants to hear it.

"You still have this?" He said as he held up his first book in disbelief.  
"I have three copies now, actually. I have one I keep on the shelf at home, one I read from, and another that I read from so much it fell apart. What can I say, I love it.".. and you, she thought.

He sits on her bed smiling, he couldn't believe after all the years, she still had a part of him with her. She slowly sat down beside him him, not too close though. She could smell him.. god he smelt good. What used to smell like cigarettes now is replaced by what smelled like Lucky cologne. She loved Lucky.. What was she doing? Why was she holding it all in, why couldn't she tell him. He was here with her now, that had to mean something, he had to still care. Maybe she will tell him..

"So, what'd you wanna talk about?" He wouldn't be the one laying his feeling on the line this time.

She sighed deeply as a tear fell down her cheek.. This is it, she wasn't gonna fight this anymore, she can't.

Jess held up his hand slowly and wiped her tear away.. "What is it? Ror.. tell me.."

This is it Rory Gilmore.. this is it.

**And breathe me **

"I love you..."


End file.
